Overcoming Self-Doubt: Why You Are Enough to Homeschool Your Child | Laura Feller
“I’m not qualified enough.” “What if I make the wrong choice?” “Can I really do this?”
These thoughts plague almost every parent considering the journey into homeschooling or open education. For Laura Feller, a mother of three boys with unique learning needs, these doubts felt overwhelming when her husband first suggested pulling their struggling son out of public school.
“I was really hesitant with two small children at home to jump into homeschooling,” Laura shares. “It was overwhelming. It was scary. I didn’t know if I could do it.”
Eight years later, her once-struggling children are thriving. But the journey required her to overcome the biggest obstacle in personalized education: parental self-doubt.
The Turning Point That Changes Everything
Laura’s oldest son was struggling in public school. Despite her regular involvement as a volunteer, his difficulty understanding material led to behavioral problems. The traditional classroom setting simply wasn’t working for him.
When her husband suggested homeschooling, Laura was resistant at first. She had loved her own public school experience and couldn’t imagine how she would manage teaching while caring for two younger children.
“My husband was 100 percent saying we have to do this. This is the best thing for our son,” she recalls. “And I trusted him and we did it. And it was far and away the best decision that we could have made.”
What made the difference? A simple yet powerful realization that would become the foundation of their educational approach.
The Three Words Every Homeschool Parent Needs to Hear
When facing her son’s learning challenges—which would later be diagnosed as dysgraphia and dyscalculia—Laura asked herself: “Am I enough to help him? Do I have the ability? Do I have the resources?”
Her answer should be framed on every homeschooling parent’s wall: “Yes, I am enough to help him. My husband is enough. As a family, we are enough to help him because we don’t have to do it on our own.”
This fundamental truth—that parents don’t need to be experts in everything, just experts in connecting their children with the right resources—became the cornerstone of their successful approach to open education.
What Deschooling Really Means (And Why It Matters)
A critical turning point in Laura’s journey came when she attended a homeschool conference and learned about the concept of “deschooling” from educator Terri Ann Perkey.
“The plan 100 percent is do not recreate public school at home. That is not the way,” Laura explains. “I was going to have a chalkboard and the whole nine yards. And that isn’t what ended up happening at all.”
Instead, deschooling involves:
- Completely pulling out of traditional school structures
- Observing your children to discover how they learn best
- Finding out what time of day they’re most alert and engaged
- Identifying what sparks their passion and curiosity
- Rebuilding family connection through shared experiences
- Exploring museums, parks, and community resources together
This process isn’t about abandoning education—it’s about rediscovering how learning naturally happens when freed from artificial constraints.
Finding Your Child’s Learning Style Through Observation
One of the most valuable insights Laura gained through deschooling was understanding her son’s unique learning style.
“As I observed my oldest, I discovered he is an auditory learner. He learns best by being spoken to and hearing information,” she shares. “Which is the complete opposite of how I learn. I’m visual. I have to see it.”
This discovery transformed their approach. While her son struggled to write spelling words correctly, he could spell them perfectly when they practiced orally. This insight allowed Laura to adapt their methods to fit his needs rather than forcing him into an approach that worked for her.
Does Your Child Need to Take This Path?
For families considering alternative education, Laura’s story offers compelling evidence of its potential benefits. After years of personalized learning:
- Her son who struggled with dysgraphia and dyscalculia in second grade no longer qualifies for those diagnoses in 11th grade
- Her youngest, who wasn’t speaking at all until age three, is now performing in theatrical productions
- All three boys have developed unique passions and skills, from musical instruments to ninja obstacle training
- They’ve built a supportive community of like-minded families
Most importantly, her children have been able to “grow into themselves” without the pressures to conform that often come with traditional schooling.
Building a Personalized Education: Where to Start
If you’re considering homeschooling or open education, Laura recommends:
- Take time to deschool properly. Don’t rush into recreating traditional school at home.
- Observe your children carefully. “Just sit in a corner and watch what they do and how they do it.”
- Experiment to find what works. “Going through those almost experimentation steps of uncovering how this works… I just loved trying to uncover these things.”
- Create a mission statement. Write down your educational goals to stay focused amid all the choices and opportunities.
- Establish core non-negotiables. In Laura’s family, math and language arts happen daily, with other subjects rotating throughout the week.
- Help children learn to prioritize. As they get older, involve them in decisions about which activities to pursue and which to set aside.
- Find your community. “Homeschool families are tight-knit families. Open education families are families that have prioritized education at home.”
The Freedom to Explore: The Heart of Open Education
What makes open education truly transformative isn’t just academic flexibility—it’s the freedom to explore the world.
For Laura’s family, this has meant:
- Starting an outdoor science club during COVID
- Participating in musical theater productions
- Learning instruments through self-guided exploration
- Taking ninja obstacle training classes during traditional school hours
- Building connections with diverse communities of like-minded families
“Open education has just really been able to allow us to give them those opportunities to try,” Laura explains. “If it doesn’t fit or work out, that’s okay. We move on.”
When It Gets Hard: Sustaining Motivation
Even with all its benefits, open education isn’t always easy. Laura acknowledges that “sometimes school is a drag, no matter where you do it.”
Her approach to maintaining motivation focuses on helping her children understand their why: “This is their education. This is for their future, their future success and their future happiness.”
By giving children appropriate autonomy and helping them connect their work to their goals, parents can build intrinsic motivation that sustains learning even on difficult days.
The myth of the superhero homeschool parent—the one who masters every subject, never loses patience, and always knows exactly what their child needs—has discouraged too many families from taking control of their children’s education.
Laura’s experience shows that successful homeschooling isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about having the courage to look for them alongside your child.
“We provide the tools and the resources,” she explains. “I certainly don’t know how to play the banjo or the harmonica, but our middle son has decided that that is something that he wants to do and is a passion, and he’s found the resources to be able to do that.”
This is the heart of open education: creating an environment where children learn not just academic subjects but how to be lifelong, self-directed learners.
The Question Every Parent Must Answer
When doubts creep in—and they will—remember Laura’s simple but mantra: “I am enough.”
Not because you have to be perfect or know everything, but because you’re willing to learn alongside your child, connect them with resources, and build a community of support.
As Laura puts it: “There is no give up because life continues and kids grow and they need us to keep learning and growing with them.”
Your child doesn’t need a perfect education. They need one that honors who they are and helps them become who they’re meant to be. And with the right approach, you already have everything you need to give them exactly that.
Are you ready to take the next step in your family’s educational journey? Join our community of open education families and get personalized support for your unique situation. Sign up for our newsletter to receive weekly tips, curriculum recommendations, and encouragement for your homeschooling journey.
Sources:
Developing Self-Directed Learners
A Review of the Literature on Self-Directed Learning
Development and Implementation of a Self-Directed Learning Readiness Scale
New Harvard Study: Homeschoolers Turn Out Happy, Well-Adjusted, and Engaged