There's a moment in my conversation with Jean Eddy when she says something crazy: "Middle school kids have brains that are as thirsty and as willing to take in information as toddlers."

She's citing research from UVA and NYU that challenges how we think about adolescent development.

Eddy, who runs American Student Assistance and has spent three decades in education, has become obsessed with this finding. And for good reason. While most parents are focused on SAT prep and college applications, they're missing what might be the most important window in their child's development—ages 11 to 14.

The Middle School Brain Discovery

During middle school, the brain undergoes a transformation that rivals early childhood development. Neural pathways are forming at extraordinary rates. The capacity for absorbing new information peaks. And critically—this is the part that made Eddy pivot her entire organization—this is when career interests and self-concept begin to crystallize.

"We did a lot of research and I was really surprised to find out that middle school kids have brains that are as thirsty as, as willing to take in information as toddlers, that their brains are just so absorbing at that point in time that this is the time to start introducing all kinds of things," Eddy explains. She's talked to faculty at UVA and NYU, read the research, and become fascinated by it.

But here's what's maddening: We're doing everything backwards.

Most schools wait until high school to introduce career exploration. By then, Eddy argues, it's often too late. "A young person who was like 13 years old, he is not totally wedded to what his friends say. But wait until he's 15 and the story changes." The peer pressure intensifies. The social hierarchies solidify. The willingness to try new things—especially things that might make you look foolish—evaporates.

Why School Should Be Fun (And Usually Isn't)

There's another revelation in our conversation that sounds almost radical in today's achievement-obsessed culture: School should be fun.

"What school is supposed to be and should be is fun. And from fun, it's going to take on learning," Eddy insists. This isn't some progressive education fantasy. It's neuroscience. When kids enjoy what they're learning, retention increases, engagement deepens, and most importantly, they develop a love of learning that sustains them through life.

But walk into most middle schools and you'll find the opposite. Eddy points to a particularly painful example: young women in math and science. "Young women really if they have any kind of difficulty at all in math or science, they kind of immediately pull back and say, well, okay, I'm not good for this anyway, girls don't do this."

The tragedy isn't just that they're wrong—it's that we're catching them at precisely the wrong moment. Give those same girls a chance to explore STEM in a low-pressure, fun environment during middle school, and everything changes. Eddy has seen it happen countless times. Girls who thought they hated science end up mentoring other students, connecting with NASA scientists, building mock space stations.

The difference? They were given permission to explore without the pressure of grades, college applications, or peer judgment. They were allowed to have fun.

Breaking Free from the College Trap

Perhaps the most controversial thing Eddy says is about college itself. She describes a vicious cycle that's destroying families: "Parents feel as though if they don't get their kids to college that they've failed. Kids feel as though if they don't go to college that they failed their parents."

This isn't anti-college rhetoric. It's pro-reality. Eddy tells me about plumbers—yes, plumbers—with a reverence usually reserved for doctors and lawyers. "Plumbers have real insights into so many things. All of us think about, well, this is the person I'm calling because I have a problem in my bathroom. No, not necessarily."

She's right. These professionals need to understand fluid dynamics, business management, customer service, and increasingly, smart home technology. They often out-earn college graduates. They have job security that would make a middle manager weep. Yet we treat these paths as consolation prizes rather than legitimate first choices.

"So many young people can do this exploration and decide even to do some kind of career, career focused educational path, whether it's a certificate or some training program or whatever it may happen to be. That doesn't stop them from thinking about college later on."

The key word there is "later." Not never. Later. After they've explored, after they've discovered what actually interests them, after they've developed some sense of who they are beyond their parents' expectations.

The Conversation That Changes Everything

Near the end of our discussion, Eddy offers perhaps the most practical advice of all. It's devastatingly simple: Change the dinner table conversation.

"Wouldn't it just be great if the parent just said something like every day, what excited you today?" she asks. Not "How was school?" Not "Did you finish your homework?" But "What excited you?"

She acknowledges the awkwardness. "Initially your son or daughter might look at you and think, what is this? But once they get into the rhythm, you'd be surprised."

This isn't just about better communication. It's about fundamentally reframing education from obligation to exploration, from performance to discovery. It's about catching kids at that magical middle school moment when their brains are primed for learning, before the world tells them who they're supposed to be.

Eddy's organization offers free digital tools for career exploration. But the real tool, she insists, is simpler: genuine curiosity about what makes your child come alive. "Trust me when I say that level of interest pays out, it always pays out."

The window is brief. The stakes are high. And most parents don't even know it's open.

Jean Eddy is Executive Chair and advisor to American Student Assistance (ASA) Board of Directors, a nonprofit that provides free digital career exploration tools for students. Learn more at asa.org.

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