## Timestamped Outline **00:00** – Why Dr. Amy chose education (psych → early ed → psychology PhD) **02:59** – Her own ADHD story: failing out twice → late diagnosis → meds helped **04:55** – Where she starts with parents: pre-diagnosis questions **07:15** – Focus isn’t broken: how attention *normally* shifts 4x/sec **08:20** – ADHD brains: curiosity, crisis-filter problems, distraction **09:20** – First checks: tired, hungry, sick, stressed? Skill vs. task mismatch **10:50** – The amygdala “alarm” hijacks thinking—why “defiance” often isn’t **11:06** – How to respond: curiosity > control; invite problem-solving **12:32** – Fight/flight **auditory exclusion**: why yelling doesn’t land **13:40** – Repair the moment: soften voice/posture, reduce sensory load **14:40** – “Name it to tame it” + step back to a mastered concept **16:45** – Parenting the child you have (not the way you were parented) **18:12** – Co-regulation: mirror neurons why your calm is contagious **18:50** – Brain differences in ADHD (blood flow, connectivity, dopamine) → empathy **21:56** – Beyond academics: life skills for stress/frustration tolerance **23:40** – Pillar #1: **Restorative sleep** (glymphatic “brain wash,” memory) **26:30** – Sensory profiles: **seekers** vs **avoiders** (evening patterns, textures) **28:40** – Practical sleep supports: pressure, movement, weighted blankets **29:30** – Screens, blue light, and daytime physical activity **30:15** – Where to start: noticing patterns; resources (Homeschool OT, Dr. Sensory) --- ## TRANSCRIPT **Ela Richmond** (00:00) Welcome back to the OpenEd podcast. I'm your host, Ela. Today I'm joined by Dr. Amy Moore. Let me jump straight into it. What led you to education? **Dr. Amy Moore** (00:17) That's a great question. My undergraduate degree is in psychology. After graduating, I took a job as a teacher's assistant at a preschool and fell in love with working with kids. I went to the University of South Carolina for their new master's program in education, and I loved it so much I pursued that instead of traditional psychology grad school. I spent ten years as a child development specialist with Air Force child development and youth programs. I also spent time in the classroom as a teacher. But working with so many children and families struggling with neurodivergent diagnoses, I kept thinking: we're missing something in the classroom. The curriculum is great, but something's missing. So I went back to school and got my PhD in psychology to really understand the brain—how it learns and what we need to bring back to classrooms, whether homeschooling, traditional, or early childhood, to help struggling kids. Now I straddle the psychology and education space because that's where my passion lies. **Ela Richmond** (02:07) That's beautiful. I'm curious why you were so interested in understanding the underlying why. Your teaching background adds another layer—you experienced what teachers experience: kids not being receptive. But you didn't take the easy road. You didn't label these kids as troubled or just move on. Why was your initial reaction to get curious about helping families solve these underlying issues? **Dr. Amy Moore** (02:59) I was a struggling student. I was smart and did well academically, but I spent more time in the hallway than the classroom in middle school because I talked too much, was constantly distracted, or distracted the class. I was diagnosed with ADHD in college—after failing out twice. Not because I couldn't do the work, but because I wouldn't go to class, would sleep through class, or didn't feel like it. My mom, also a child development specialist, said, "I think you have ADHD." This was the eighties when hyperactive boys were mainly diagnosed, but she saw the symptoms. I was assessed and was off the charts ADHD. Once medicated, I did really well through college and grad school and got my life back on track. As I worked with children and families, I thought: we can't miss these things. We have to identify this early so kids don't struggle so much. I was drawn to struggling kids with ADHD—kids everyone else was frustrated with but that I understood. I wanted to help, but I didn't have enough tools because medication was the only ADHD intervention available. These kids spend eight to ten hours with us daily. We have to be able to do more. **Ela Richmond** (04:55) That makes so much sense. You had personal understanding of what it was like being that kid. You found a tool that worked, got through college, succeeded, and then looked at struggling kids and said, "Let me help you find more tools." I love that. What's the common experience of families with ADHD? Our audience is mostly homeschool families who aren't getting teacher reports—they're experiencing it themselves. What's step one when you chat with families? **Dr. Amy Moore** (06:31) Do you want the conversation before official diagnosis or after? **Ela Richmond** (06:48) The first conversation—when a parent doesn't know if their kid has ADHD or what to look into. **Dr. Amy Moore** (07:15) We tend to say "my kid can't focus" or "can't pay attention," but our brains shift attention four times a second. That's normal. Your brain focuses on a task, scans the environment for threats, comes back to the task. It's designed for survival—checking for tigers while working. That's healthy brain function. The ADHD brain struggles to distinguish between minor inconveniences and crises. Everything feels important. ADHD brains are also super curious, so they're easily pulled into environmental distractions. The first question I ask parents: Is your child tired, hungry, sick, or stressed? That's where we start. If not, let's talk about stress. A child can lose focus because the task is too hard or they lack the skill. That causes stress and frustration. When stressed, the amygdala sets off an alarm—"danger, crisis, you're frustrated"—and hijacks the prefrontal cortex, which handles reasoning, thinking, planning, and execution. Then we can't think or learn. What we interpret as defiance is typically not defiance. "I'm not doing this" isn't willful. It's "this is too hard and I'm frustrated, and I don't know how to communicate that." So we have to get curious. We have to be patient and learn to regulate our own emotions first. **Ela Richmond** (10:32) Are there ways to give kids more ability to communicate instead of seeming defiant? **Dr. Amy Moore** (11:06) It's probably ninety-nine percent emotional response. We have to get curious and flexible—put on our detective hat and wonder what's happening. This is an opportunity to teach problem-solving skills. When we involve kids in solving problems, we give them power and control, building relational equity. They feel heard and respected. But something very important happens when we yell. That alarm bell goes off, they go into fight, flight, or freeze. The ears can't process language in fight-or-flight. It's called auditory exclusion. **Dr. Amy Moore** (12:32) The brain is intelligently designed to only hear low-frequency sounds—like a tiger rustling in the bush behind us—not mom's voice yelling. So when you yell at your child, it looks like they're ignoring you, but they're struggling to hear the words because they're in fight-or-flight. Everything that comes out of your mouth either strengthens or weakens the connection with your child. Yelling weakens that connection. You destroy relational equity and have repair work to do. We have to get curious, be patient, and learn to regulate our own emotions first. Start by lowering your voice volume, softening your facial expression, relaxing your body posture, removing excess noise and light. Lower the temperature on the fire at the dining room table. Then say something like, "I notice this seems really hard for you. I wonder what we could do to make it easier. Let's talk about some options." Go into problem-solving mode. Create an invitation for your child to safely say, "Yes, it is too hard." Then: "Yesterday you mastered this concept. Let's go back to what we talked about. Go back a step to where you could do it, then build slowly on this next concept you're struggling with." When we're in emotional fight-or-flight, that part of the brain is most active. But if we can name the emotion, it activates the language center, pulling us out of our amygdala. You've probably heard "have to name it to tame it"—that's absolutely right. Tell your child: "It seems like you're frustrated. Yeah, I get frustrated when I can't do something hard too. This is what I do." **Ela Richmond** (15:38) From a parent perspective, what's the hardest part about raising children with ADHD and how do you help parents? What you're describing—not yelling, staying patient—is very hard. But especially with ADHD kids, the way they respond to you is really important. Parents have responsibility to be the way their child needs them to be. Where do you help parents begin? **Dr. Amy Moore** (16:45) We parent the way we were parented. Just because you were parented that way and turned out okay doesn't mean it'll work for your child. You need to parent your child, not the way you were necessarily parented. We didn't wear seatbelts, we turned out okay, but seatbelts are safer. Just because your parent yelled and you behaved doesn't mean that's how your child will respond or that it's the healthiest way to raise a child. If your current parenting strategy isn't working—if you're here asking for help—something needs to change. We have to regulate our own emotions first. We cannot access grace when emotionally dysregulated. Recognize when you're getting upset or frustrated. Take a step back and say, "I need a ten-minute break. You take a break too." Learn breathing exercises, grounding exercises. Keep a frozen eye mask in your freezer—put it on your eyes for thirty seconds and it lowers fight-or-flight activation. Vibrate your vagus nerve to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and regulate your emotions. **Dr. Amy Moore** (18:12) Emotions are contagious. We have smart cells in our brains called mirror neurons. Their effect is strongest between people with close relationships. So my emotions as a mom are contagious to my child. The easiest illustration: when someone yawns, you yawn back. That's a mirror neuron. We have to regulate our emotions, which helps co-regulate our child's emotions. This starts with us. Adopt a mindset of curiosity. Say, "Hey, this isn't working. What should I do differently?" That's the first step—learning to regulate our emotions and recognizing there are real, measurable differences in ADHD brains. There's less blood flow to the prefrontal cortex, so less oxygen in the area responsible for thinking, reasoning, planning, and execution. The connection between amygdala and prefrontal cortex is disrupted. Brain volume is smaller. Electrical activity is different. There are problems with dopamine and norepinephrine neurotransmitters. Either not enough dopamine crosses the synaptic cleft, sending neurons reabsorb it too quickly, or dopamine receptors can't catch the dopamine. When parents understand there are connectivity differences, oxygen differences, brain volume differences, and chemical differences, empathy builds. "That's why my child is struggling. They aren't doing this to me. They're struggling, and it's my job as a loving parent to help." Homeschooling parents already have the mindset that their child needs something different. That's half the battle. **Ela Richmond** (21:56) There's education—fitting it to how your child's brain works. But also regular life and behavior. How do we help kids develop the skills to live in the world, respond to frustration, respond to stress? These are foundational. What frameworks should homeschool families start with? **Dr. Amy Moore** (23:40) First, make sure children get restorative sleep. Tired children cannot regulate emotions. Sleep deprivation reduces dopamine sensitivity and the ability to recognize facial expressions accurately. If we can't read faces accurately, we might respond emotionally inappropriately. During the day, as we think, learn, walk, talk, and live, we use up neurotransmitters and leave toxins. During sleep, the brain shrinks slightly to allow the glymphatic system to release cerebrospinal fluid that literally washes the brain—like a car wash rinsing garbage and toxins left behind during the day. Without this, toxins build up and neurons can't communicate effectively. Sleep also consolidates memories. Everything learned during the day is consolidated during sleep. That can't happen without adequate sleep. Help your kids get restorative sleep. Make bedtime part of your structured day, like math or reading time, not just when you're exhausted and want them gone. Most ADHD kids have sensory processing issues—they're sensory seekers or avoiders. Sensory seekers are running laps around the living room at 8 p.m., throwing themselves on couches. They haven't gotten enough sensory input, so they seek it. They need swings in bedrooms, movement during stories, tight pressure therapy, weighted blankets. Sensory avoiders can't stand clothing tags or electric toothbrushes. They need soft tagless pajamas, soft sheets, minimal bedroom clutter. Even toothpaste flavor matters. Sensory seekers choose bold, bright flavors. Reduce screens—they produce blue light, which tells the brain it's daylight and inhibits melatonin release. If kids haven't gotten enough physical activity, they won't sleep well either. Work on restorative sleep and recognizing contributors to sleep deprivation first. **Ela Richmond** (30:15) You mentioned curating environments for kids' needs. Most parents want to do that, but don't know where to start—from swing bedrooms to toothbrush sounds to toothpaste flavor. How do families find resources? Do they need to curate if they want to? What are the most important things to start with? **Dr. Amy Moore** (30:15) If your child has ADHD, you already know these patterns. You know they're constantly seeking activity, worse in evenings—that probably means sensory seeker. You know if they can't stand itchy fabrics or insist you cut tags out. You know from behavior patterns. A great resource is the Homeschool OT—Sarah Collins. Occupational therapists are experts on sensory issues. Her podcast and website discuss sensory seekers and avoiders. You can Google "bedtime ideas for sensory seekers" or "sensory avoiders"—there are checklists everywhere. Also look up Dr. Sensory—she had great ideas on my podcast. -